James is Funny

So I’m sitting in my truck this afternoon because they make me take a lunch, and I see this guy (it’s always a guy) drive out of the parking lot with his truck loaded down with fifteen or so bags of concrete. No big deal right? I work at the Home Depot and people buy concrete there every day. Thing with this guy though is that he loaded it all onto the hood of his Bronco. The HOOD. Dude put a layer two bags two deep all over the hood and then piled it up high on the passenger side. Left it a little lower on the driver’s side so he could see to drive and then drive he did. How far he got we’ll never know but it was easily the nutsest thing I saw all day.

When you see something like that you have to tell someone and I hadn’t been back from lunch twenty minutes when I grabbed James. He was amused but not impressed. James is a fifteen year Depot veteran and has better stories than anyone else in the store. “I seen a fella one time in Florida,” (they all begin this way), “drove up in a Cadillac and bought a 4 X 8 sheet of ¾ inch plywood.” James said “Cadillac” the way people used to say it when Cadillacs were impressive things to drive. “This old boy,” he continued, “threw that plywood up on top of that Cadillac and grabbed a cordless drill out of his trunk. I asked him if he wanted some rope and he said no, he had it and he ran 3 inch drywall screws down through that plywood into the top of that Cadillac--A CALDILLAC--put holes all over it and drove off.”

James is, by now, about ready to pee himself he’s laughing so hard at his own story (which is part of what makes them so funny). “I asked him, ‘what in the world are you doing?’ and he said, “it’s my boss’s car.”