Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Mawwiage

I've agreed to do a wedding in April -- my first in a long time; I've been ducking them successfully for six or seven years. I'm a bit stumped as to what I'll say when the time comes. So much of what I've heard (and said) in weddings has been so cliche and I'm not interested in contributing to the banality. "The wedding ring is an endless circle like eternity and is made of precious metal, blah, blah, blah..."

I think the best thing I ever heard in a wedding was when Joe went on and on and on about how beautiful and radiant Cindy was, about how she was a princess and we were all there for her on her day -- truly touching -- then turned to Justin and said, "And Justin, you're dressed very nicely."

So married folk, (and you know who you are,) what do you wish someone had said to you during your wedding? Or were you listening? Or does it matter? I doubt that it matters much (at all?) for a couple reasons, but I'm trying to be open minded.

4 Comments:

Blogger Carolyn said...

And tell them not to pick fights.

12:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just did a wedding -- my first in years, too.

"You've chosen this day to remember, and to draw a line in the sand that says you're committed."

"And that's a good thing," I said, "because this is going to be a lot of work."

Worth it, of course -- but if you're married you know what I'm talking about.

1:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

here's what i wish someone would have said...
I think we (like a lot of people) saw our wedding day as a culmination, and felt relieved & excited that it had arrived & that we were experiencing it. But I think i would have liked to have better understood it as a beginning point... Weddings are significant & fun but they're nothing compared to real life with someone who's committed to you, which just gets better all the time.
We were often given the impression that it just goes downhill from the wedding day. And while it's been a lot of hard work, the longer you do something, the better you get at it - including being a good spouse.
I guess I could have done with a dose of hope that put the Big Day into perspective - like "what lies in store is going to be complicated and difficult and at times terrifying, but so beautiful, and so much better than whatever it is you have now."

But then, i barely remember what was said at our wedding. :) If it helps, I think anything you'd have to say about marriage is worthwhile. We learn a lot by living alongside you both.

Is this the first time i've posted a comment on your blog? If it is, I'm inclined to feel weird about it. :)

-tg

11:17 AM  
Blogger ben said...

I think it is, so welcome to the commentary, and thanks for your input. Don't feel weird

12:29 PM  

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